Rules Of The Watchtower
by ComicNerdForLife
Summary: Damian and Layla were just sassing people, they hadn't really expected people to like it. But now it was a bit too fun to stop. Especially with the rest of the supposed heroes (read: children in adult bodies) egging them on. Poor, poor Batman.
1. Chapter 1

**So, just to give a quick bit of information, I don't have this set in any specific universe/timeline. This is mostly just for fun. Also Layla is Damian's best friend/future girlfriend that figured out he was Robin after six months of knowing him. Said child assassin decided that since she was in the know about that she might as well know everything and she has since been inducted into the Bat family.**

**I have other OC's that I'll be adding in but I'll be explaining them in the story.**

**Damian and Layla are 14, Tim is 17, Jason (who's alive and kinda, sorta back with the Bat Clan) is 21, and Dick is 24. That's all the really important stuff that you need to know, otherwise just have fun.**

**Also I give full credit for this idea to Cammy, who made the ever wonderful and hilarious Atlantis Handbook. It's absolutely amazing you should all go check it out. Seriously, all credit goes to her/him, they are amazing.**

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No one knew who had hacked into the Watchtowers computer to put the first rule up but everyone was pretty amused by it. Everyone was sure that Batman knew though when the second rule popped up the next day and he did nothing more than raise an eyebrow.

Secretly Damian and Layla high-fived each other in the Bat-Cave and went to the kitchen to see if Alfred had made anymore cookies.

**Rule One: Green Lantern is not allowed to lock Flash inside of an inescapable prison.**

**A. Unless Batman tells you to.**

Flash had been running around the Watchtower, generally causing mischief. Hal Jordan finally got irritated enough to form an unbreakable cage around the speedster while he was running at full speed.

How he timed it so well no one knew, but Barry slammed face first into the wall and severely broke his nose. Now Hal was getting lectured by Black Canary while Green Arrow escorted the speedster to the infirmary.

**Rule Two: Never EVER steal Wonder Woman's Lasso Of Truth.**

**A. She's scary when angry.**

**B. Do you actually have a death wish?**

Hawkgirl had dared Booster Gold to 'borrow' Wonder Woman's Lasso. Booster Gold, showing how little intelligence he had, promptly set up a distraction and attempted to lift the magical rope. The Amazonian Princess saw right through him and gave an impressive beat down. Those who witnessed the event winced for an entire week and the man from the future was in the infirmary for two weeks.

Damian and Layla thought it was good idea to put it in writing even though they were _fairly_ certain nobody else was that stupid.

**Rule Three: Do Not Prank Batman**

**A. He will dodge it and get revenge.**

**B. Superman isn't sure he'd be able to stop him.**

Someone had the bright idea to attempt to prank Batman. It did not end well.

**Rule Four: Kryptonite is to stay in the Bat Cave/heavily leaded safe.**

Turns out Superboy and Supergirl had pranked the Bat as a means of 'family bonding time' that Clark forced them into. After Batman glowered at them and forced them under the green crystal for ten minutes they had admitted it tearfully (an affect of the Kryptonite, they claimed, not because of how terrifying the Batman was).

Then the billionaire-turned-vigilante had gone hunting for the reporter. It hadn't ended well for the 'man of steel'.

**Rule Five: Never steal a speedsters food.**

Hal was still annoyed with Barry and had thusly started stealing the speedsters food behind his back. After Barry almost fainted from low blood pressure Batman and Black Canary quickly stepped in.

Now Barry was ignoring the pilot and Hal was nowhere to found, presumably hiding from an annoyed Batman and Black Canary.

**Rule Six: Don't steal any of the Lantern's rings.**

**A. Knock it off, you two.**

Barry had retaliated for the Food Fiasco and had filched the pilot's ring. It would've been fine too, had an intergalactic battle not sprung up that urgently needed Hal.

Thankfully the Lantern Core had been able to send another person but Hal was still pretty upset. He'd gotten yelled at by his higher ups for losing his ring. Now Hal was refusing to speak to Barry.

Dinah was completely fed up with them while Bruce glared whenever their names were mentioned.

**Rule Seven: Do not mess with Layla's notebook.**

Layla had been visiting Damian on the Watchtower when he was holed up in the infirmary with a dislocated shoulder. She'd taken her songwriting notebook and guitar with her to work on some songs to help distract her injured best friend. Kid Flash had taken it out of her pocket when she went to get food from the cafeteria and forgot to put it back.

The distraught girl had gone back to the infirmary and vented to Damian. The former assassin promptly leapt out of bed and dragged her back to the cafeteria where he glared and threatened people until Wally had coughed it up. Damian snatched it out of his hands and gently handed it to Layla before he pounced on the speedster, shoulder forgotten.

When Nightwing (who had witnessed the entire event) finally broke them up he promised Layla that he would 'remind' Wally that it wasn't nice to take other people's things without asking. He knew after all how terrified she was for people to read her songs without her knowledge. Damian was the only one she completely trusted them with.

**Rule Eight: Don't leave the medbay when you haven't been cleared yet.**

Dr. Silva, the Watchtower's doctor, had panicked when he found an empty bed where he had left Damian. He'd gone on the comms calling for the Wayne heir, worried that he'd lost Batman's child. When he and Layla strolled back in like nothing had happened the doctor almost had a heart attack.

Now Damian was locked in the infirmary for an extra two days, to the teenager's dismay.

**Rule Nine: Animals are not allowed on the Watchtower.**

**A. "But it followed me into the Zeta-Beam!" is not an acceptable answer.**

**B. Get rid of it, Billy, before Bats finds it.**

After a hard battle with a blob monster, the teen had headed for the nearest Zeta-Beam only for a little, malnourished kitten to hitch a ride. The lightning wielding hero then proceeded to hit the small cat on the tower for four weeks until Blue Beetle stumbled upon the duo. After solemnly swearing not to tell anyone the teen returned with the rest of the Teen Titan's (Raven, Damian, Layla as an honorary member, Garfield, Tim, Kori, and Artemis).

Two days later the entire tower knew about it, including Batman. Layla and Damian quickly rescued the kitten before the terrifying vigilante could find it. The duo then skipped back to Gotham to give the fuzzy creature to an always-willing Catwoman.

**Rule Ten: Raiding the Cafeteria is frowned upon.**

**A. We know it was you, Red Arrow and Red Hood.**

**B. Be very afraid. The various Flashes want to talk to you.**

When the cooks had walked in earlier that morning they were very distraught to find the kitchen a complete disaster and most of the food missing. Playing back the security tapes showed a very high looking pair of 'anti heroes' stumbling into the kitchen at the crack of dawn. Said duo was suspiciously missing, though they did leave a crude thank you note behind.

The Flash family was mostly upset because now they had to go out and pay for food, which always a big hassle for them. The cooks though were furious at the state of their kitchen and were swearing revenge. Everyone else was disturbed at how possessive the cooks were over 'their' domain.

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**Alright, folks, that's it. if you enjoyed this please review/follow/favorite, y'know all the things! And if you would like to suggest rules it would be much appreciated, I'll most definitely credit you up top for them.**

**And like I said before, this was inspired by the entirely spectacular Cammy, they're awesome so go check them out! And if you want to read HER story it's the Atlantis Handbook. If you like this, you'll _love_ that one.**

**Anyway that's all for now! Thank you for reading this, and I'll catch ya later!**

**Comic out.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Again, all credit goes to Cammy! Also Billy and Freddie are 15 in this!**

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After the first ten rules had been posted everyone was getting a little bit suspicious about who was posting them. It didn't help that Damian and Layla just smirked whenever anyone brought it up around them. However when Rule Eleven was posted everyone knew exactly who was making them.

**Rule Eleven: Red Robin is not allowed to eat sugar anymore.**

**A. Aquaman wants to talk to you...**

Red Robin plus a sickening amount of Ding Dongs equaled a hilariously high Tim attempting to ride a whale. Thankfully Beast Boy and Blue Beetle had noticed him and scrambled to get him away from the increasingly angry sea animal. They then had to sit on the third Robin until he calmed down. Layla and Damian almost died laughing when they heard about it while Dick had looked despairingly at his second youngest sibling.

Batman just shook his head and proverbially washed his hands of the entire debacle.

**Rule Twelve: The men of the Justice League are not allowed to create a 'sexy calendar'.**

**A. Also Oliver, Clark, Barry, and Nightwing. Dinah, Lois, Iris, and Oracle are looking for you.**

**B. They have scary weapons on hand.**

**C. Run. Run far away.**

The four men had decided to make the superhero version of the classic 'firefighter calendar'. They'd managed to convince almost all of the men and a fair few women to do it. At least until someone spilled the beans to their respective wives/girlfriends/female friend. And they were not happy.

Needless to say, the calendar never happened.

**Rule Thirteen: Layla is not allowed to be kidnapped.**

**A. Ever.**

Some villain had seen Robin talking to Layla once after the duo had managed to stop a bomb from going off at Gotham Academy. After some good old fashioned stalking he figured out where she lived and promptly kidnapped her on her way home. unfortunately for the villain Damian had loaded his best friend up with what seemed like an unnecessary amount of trackers and panic buttons at the time months ago.

The moment the blonde-haired girl had woken up in a creepy basement she'd hit the panic button on the bracelet Damian had gifted her for her birthday. Twenty minutes later the enraged sidekick burst into the basement just as the kidnapper was telling Layla about his plan to use her as a ploy to kill the fourth Robin. Said villain was quickly pummeled within an inch of his life.

The only reason he was still alive was because Layla had yelled at her friend to 'untie her right now because these ropes are bruising her delicate wrists.'. Damian had instantly complied and proceeded to carry her out of the basement despite her protests that she could walk just fine, completely ignoring the villain groaning in pain on the ground.

After the rest of the League witnessed what the former assassin had done, it was unanimously decided that Layla was to be protected for fear of what Damian would do if she was ever hurt or god forbid killed.

**Rule Fourteen: Protective Stalking is to be kept to acceptable limits.**

**A. Robin, everyone gets it. Layla will be safe.**

After the little mishap with the kidnapping Damian took the term 'overprotective' to a whole new level. At first Layla had been fine with him shadowing her during the weekend and being her shadow at school, but when she noticed him camped out in the tree outside her window she finally snapped.

Once she had dragged her best friend in to her room she gave a verbal beat down that managed to cow Damian. Then she made a compromise that she'd wear a more sophisticated tracker/panic button and go to the Teen Titans' headquarters with him after school if he agreed to tone down the protectiveness. When Damian reluctantly agreed she kissed his cheek and ordered him to change into normal clothes.

After all, if he was gonna stay the night then she'd rather not explain to her parents why Robin was in her bedroom. Besides she had a chip and candy stash in her room plus a TV.

**Rule Fifteen: Any and all 'Jackass' movies are now banned.**

**A. Booster Gold, Batman is coming for you.**

**B. You destroyed his favorite desk chair.**

The time traveler had been having a Jackass marathon and decided he wanted to try one of the stunts. Half an hour later he'd managed to wreck most of the control room and completely ruin the Bat's favorite chair on the Watchtower.

Booster Gold was now in hiding while Bruce glared darkly whenever the incident was mentioned. Superman and Wonder Woman just look horrified at the state of the tower.

**Rule Sixteen: Martian Manhunter is not allowed to divulge any secrets he gets from anyone's heads.**

**A. You made Nessa cry.**

Vanessa 'Nessa' Carver was Billy Batson and Freddie Freeman's friend that had saw them transform once and helped keep their secret identities in tact. Once they'd taken her to the Watchtower to show it off to her and made the mistake of introducing her to J'onn.

After he'd made the comment about how much she liked Freddie the poor girl had blushed and looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her up while Freddie looked beyond shocked. Layla, who had witnessed the event, had quickly stolen the girl away and taken her to Damian's room in the tower so that she could regroup her thoughts.

It seemed to turn out well though because a week and a kick in the pants from Billy later, Freddie asked Nessa out and now the two were happily dating.

**Rule Seventeen: Nightwing is no longer allowed to flirt with alien women.**

**A. Especially Priestesses.**

**B. Even more so when her father is the king of their planet.**

Nightwing had gone off planet and returned bloody and bruised. When asked what happened he'd pleaded the fifth. However when Wally, who had gone with him, had been asked he was all too eager to tell them.

Apparently the local Priestess was very pretty and seemed receptive to Nightwing's charms and the two were caught in a 'compromising position' an hour into the feast that been throw for the two heroes. The girl's father (the king) had been none too impressed and ordered Dick's execution for daring to pervert his little girl. Cue a hasty retreat that involved a lot of hiding and misdirection, with them almost getting caught once.

Damian and Layla laughed for days after hearing that one.

**Rule Eighteen: Do not bribe Dr. Silva to get out of the infirmary early**

**A. He can't be bought.**

**B. Unfortunately...**

Flash had ended up breaking his leg pretty bad during a battle with Killer Frost and was stuck in the infirmary for three days. Before the end of day one he was already bored and attempting to bribe his way out of his 'prison'.

Dr. Silva wasn't amused and added another day to his confinement.

**Rule Nineteen: Do not give Layla anything with peanuts.**

**A. She actually is allergic to them, people.**

**B. It upsets Robin.**

**C. He's protective enough already, damn it!**

One of the cooks had used peanut oil in food for Layla, not knowing that she was deathly allergic. Damian had started panicking hysterically when she suddenly started having trouble breathing and quickly injected her with an epipen before picking her up and booking it to the infirmary. Now she was confined for a couple hours and the chef was very apologetic.

Batman, who was actually very fond of his son's best friend, had stormed down to the kitchens and terrorized the cooks into getting rid of anything that contained peanuts. Everyone else swore to never even _eat _peanuts next to the songwriter in fear of what the Bat Clan would do.

**Rule Twenty: Fireworks are banned from the Watchtower, Mount Justice, and Titan's Headquarters.**

**A. Get rid of them, Beast Boy.**

Garfield, for some reason, decided that he wanted to set off some fireworks. What he didn't think of though was that setting off loud explosives near a bunch of battle ready heroes was a very bad idea.

After the chaos was sorted out and the injuries taken care of, Layla and Damian hastily put up the rule.

**Rule Twenty One: The women of the Watchtower are not allowed to string up their romantic partners and declare them ornaments.**

**A. We know they're being stupid but that doesn't mean that they deserve to be hung up like that.**

**B. Please take them down.**

**C. NOW.**

The women finally got fed up enough with men and decided that if they were tied up and suspended above the floor they couldn't possibly cause anymore trouble. The only males that avoided the 'punishment' was anyone under the age of sixteen, Batman, Superman, and Martian Manhunter.

It also lead to the next rule.

**Rule Twenty Two: Do not attempt to serenade your captors.**

**A. Stop, guys.**

**B. The women are already annoyed with you, don't make it worse.**

The men had, weirdly enough, decided to sing the soundtrack to Frozen at the top of their lungs to get the girl to release them. It worked in the effect that they let them down only to kick the crap out of them. Superman wisely let them alone, not willing to get a whole pack of super-powered women on his ass.

Dr. Silva just sighed and made sure that he had enough free beds.

**Rule Twenty Three: Do not steal Dr. Silva's coffee.**

**A. He's frightening when angry.**

Someone had stolen the usually demure doctor's coffee. Everyone had been startled when he went apocalyptic with rage and hunted down the coffee thieves with a fervor that scared Layla. And after seeing what he did to the poor soul that did it, everyone swore to never anger the doctor.

**Rule Twenty Four: Alcohol is prohibited on the Watchtower.**

After seeing a drunken Green Arrow attempt to shoot an apple off of an equally drunk Firestorm, Layla insisted on this rule. Nobody wanted to think about what would happen to the world with a bunch of drunk heroes on the tower.

Superman looked ready to tear his hair out.

**Rule Twenty Five: The betting pool is to stop.**

**A. It's rude to Superman.**

**B. Do you want him to go Dark Side?**

Apparently some of the more immature heroes had a betting pool going on to see who could drive the man of steal crazy first. Once Black Canary got wind of it, she very quickly and permanently shut it down. All those involved were currently scrubbing every inch of the tower with an annoyed Canary supervising.

**Rule Twenty Six: All pranks are banned.**

**A. Barry and Hal, you have an appointment with Dr. Stevens.**

The two men had continued the feud going on between them. They continued pranking each, upping the ante more and more until Nessa and Layla got caught in the cross fire. After Freddie and Damian had caught sight of the girls they had been furious. Layla's lip had been split and Nessa's wrist was badly swollen.

The prank? Hal had set up a foam hand, filled it with shaving cream and timed it to fall and smack people in the face. The only issue was that he hadn't anticipated on two small teenage girls walking through the door and thusly it hit them pretty hard. Freddie and Damian had tracked him down after helping the girls to the infirmary and extracted their revenge on behalf of their girls.

No one knew what exactly happened but the hero winced every time shaving cream was mentioned. Dr. Stevens, the therapist that the government insisted on, was currently talking to the two men about their trust issues.

**Rule Twenty Seven: Paper cuts are not serious injuries.**

The Justice League, it seemed, was incapable of handling paper cuts. After Kid Flash had come in almost crying and holding his hand, Dr. Silva had been very concerned. At least until he realized that it was just paper cut. Then he was visibly annoyed.

And after he told the 'Big Three' (Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman) about this fun new fact, they looked as distraught as the physician had ever seen them.

**Rule Twenty Eight: Paintball is now banned.**

**A. All paintball guns are to be turned in immediately.**

When Young Justice and the Teen Titan's had gone to war with each other, it hadn't been pretty. Young Justice had Red Robin, Kid Flash, Artemis, Red Arrow, Superboy, and Wondergirl while the Titan's had Robin, Beast Boy, Blue Beetle, Raven, Starfire, and Layla as an honorary member. After both teams got a little too into it the responsible adults stepped in and brought it to a halt.

Nearly all those involved had to brought to the infirmary for a few days, though surprisingly Layla had been left alone for the most part. She was fairly certain it was because both of the Robins involved had declared her off limits much to her annoyance.

Batman still made Damian and Layla post the rule to prevent anymore paintball wars.

**Rule Twenty Nine: The scientists are no longer allowed to build explosives without supervision.**

Booster Gold had bribed the scientists aboard the Watchtower to build him a couple of grenades. However they were using very delicate materials and one of them made a wrong move, resulting in rather spectacular explosion. Thankfully no one was dead but there were quite a few injured and now the tower smelled like smoke. Not to mention the structural damage...

**Rule Thirty: The Feud between teams is to stop.**

**A. All members of Young Justice and Teen Titans now have group therapy with Dr. Stevens.**

It seemed that the younger heroes were still upset about their interrupted paintball match and were being passive aggressive with each other. After numerous members turned up in the infirmary with differing injuries, Dr. Silva put his foot down with Batman as his back up.

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**This fic is actually ridiculously fun to write! Anyway, please review/follow/favorite! I'll see you next time!**

**Comic out!**


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